Hello darlings.
Its that time of year, New Year resolutions, i've never been one to make them, i haven't made one for years. I've been of the mind that if i set myself goals that there's a pressure to accomplish them and i can't handle that kind of pressure.Which i know seems silly as its all in my head and i've set them for myself an no one else. So why do i fixate and stress about these things. There is no one else to disappoint other than myself.
I've had a pretty good 2018, i got engaged, i lost over a stone in weight, finally all my baby weight is gone! My body doesn't look the same as it did but i'm ok with that, i housed a baby for 9 months and i feel him from my breast of course it will change. Isaac turned 1 which is crazy. What is even crazier is that hes 2 next month! I got promoted which at the time was what i wanted. I made it to team leader (duty manger). Then i found a new job doing something completely different working in animal rescue, i know i can't believe it either. I started driving lessons i know i'm 24 and i can't drive! Overall it sounds like a good year then why was i crying most evenings?
I feel 2018 has been a year where people have talked more openly about mental heath which is so fantastic but are people just jumping on a bandwagon, has it become a trend? And i hate that i'm even writing that. Its one of the reasons i've never really talked about my mental health, because i'm worried people wouldn't take it seriously as everyone seems to be doing it. I know that although it looks like i've had the perfect year i've been so worried of something going wrong. And things have been bad and i've just put up with them. I'd stuck at a job for nearly 5 years that i didn't enjoy because i though well everyone hates their job its just the norm, there was nothing else i could do. So i put up with it, the reason i lost all my baby weight was stress due to my work an stress of being an adult.
So back in November i just said fuck it, that evening i wrote my notice. I know so unlike the overthinking worried Jessica. I didn't have another job to go to, but i didn't care the moment i handed it in the relief i felt i can't describe. An it was fate because 2 days later my fiance Will tagged me in a post saying our local Animal Shelter were hiring. I wrote my CV in under an hour and submitted it, got a call the next day asking me for an interview and then about a 4 days later they called to say i got the job! The pay isn't as much and its less hours but that what i need. I need more time for me and my family. I constantly had the mum guilt where i was working 25/30 hours weeks and not seeing Isaac. Even if i just stick at it for a few months, i got out of my old job, less stress, i'm doing something new and i get to spend more time at home.
Leaning to drive is a massive thing for me i've always been way to scared to take lessons. Its such an irrational fear but i always overthinked it.
My goals this year, to get my drivers licence, i want to potty train Isaac, teach him to swim. I want to get better at blogging, write more personal posts. I want to experience things more, create more memories. I want to have another baby! I get married in Oct 2020 which i am very excited about so this year is booking everything! Get better with money, which will be a struggle. This year i am making some resolutions and knowing that if i don't complete them then that is ok! But if i don't make them i will never know! And always wonder what if.....
I'd love to know do you make new years resolutions?
Kisses
<3
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