Making New Year Resolutions // helping my mental health.

Hello darlings.

Its that time of year, New Year resolutions, i've never been one to make them, i haven't made one for years. I've been of the mind that if i set myself goals that there's a pressure to accomplish them and i can't handle that kind of pressure.Which i know seems silly as its all in my head and i've set them for myself an no one else. So why do i fixate and stress about these things. There is no one else to disappoint other than myself.

I've had a pretty good 2018, i got engaged, i lost over a stone in weight, finally all my baby weight is gone! My body  doesn't look the same as it did but i'm ok with that, i housed a baby for 9 months and i feel him from my breast of course it will change. Isaac turned 1 which is crazy. What is even crazier is that hes 2 next month! I got promoted which at the time was what i wanted. I made it to team leader (duty manger). Then i found a new job doing something completely different working in animal rescue, i know i can't believe it either. I started driving lessons i know i'm 24 and i can't drive! Overall it sounds like a good year then why was i crying most evenings? 

 I feel 2018 has been a year where people have talked more openly about mental heath which is so fantastic but are people just jumping on a bandwagon, has it become a trend? And i hate that i'm even writing that. Its one of the reasons i've never really talked about my mental health, because i'm worried people wouldn't take it seriously as everyone seems to be doing it. I know that although it looks like i've had the perfect year i've been so worried of something going wrong. And things have been bad and i've just put up with them. I'd stuck at a job for nearly 5 years that i didn't enjoy because i though well everyone hates their job its just the norm, there was nothing else i could do. So i put up with it, the reason i lost all my baby weight was stress due to my work an stress of being an adult. 

So back in November i just said fuck it, that evening i wrote my notice. I know so unlike the overthinking worried Jessica. I didn't have another job to go to, but i didn't care the moment i handed it in the relief i felt i can't describe. An it was fate because 2 days later my fiance Will tagged me in a post saying our local Animal Shelter were hiring. I wrote my CV in under an hour and submitted it, got a call the next day asking me for an interview and then about a 4 days later they called to say i got the job! The pay isn't as much and its less hours but that what i need. I need more time for me and my family. I constantly had the mum guilt where i was working 25/30 hours weeks and not seeing Isaac. Even if i just stick at it for a few months, i got out of my old job, less stress,  i'm doing something new and i get to spend more time at home. 

Leaning to drive is a massive thing for me i've always been way to scared to take lessons. Its such an irrational fear but i always overthinked it. 

My goals this year, to get my drivers licence, i want to potty train Isaac, teach him to swim. I want to get better at blogging, write more personal posts. I want to experience things more, create more memories. I want to have another baby! I get married in Oct 2020 which i am very excited about so this year is booking everything! Get better with money, which will be a struggle. This year i am making some resolutions and knowing that if i don't complete them then that is ok! But if i don't make them i will never know! And always wonder what if.....

I'd love to know do you make new years resolutions? 

Kisses

<3

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The 7 day slimfast challenge // conclusion

Hello darlings

Today is the conclusion to my 7 day Slimfast challenge. Heres part one if you missed it!. I started this challenge last Monday (14th May) and finished this Monday and i have to say i'm pleasantly surprised. 

The kits comes with a strawberry shake, 2 chocolate meal replacement bars, 3 sour cream and chive pretzels, 4 cheddar cheese bits, 4 caramel bars and 3 chocolate bars. 

( I apologize for my chubby toes) 

My starting weight was 61kg (9st 6lb or 134lbs)

After one week my weight was 59.9kg (9st 4lbs or 132lb) so after 1 week i lost a little over 2kgs, which i'm pretty happy with. If i'm honest i wasn't expecting to loose anything, i thought you can't loose much in one week on its own so i'm really happy, thats a healthy amount to loose. Its not a crash diet where you loose loads and put it straight back on the next week the minute you stop,

I'm not gonna lie i didn't stick to the plan 100%, i tried and i did eat pretty healthy for nearly the whole week but i did have a cheeky Chinese on the Friday night but thats a good thing! I'l tell you why because i still lost weight and had a little treat, a win win. I also didn't stick to the meal plan as most of the evening meals were meat so i made my own vegetarian versions. I also didn't snack as often as it told me some were 3/4 times a day which was a little too much for me, i don't normally eat that many times. But it means i have snacks left over after the week and about half the tub of protein shake as well which is brilliant so i can continue to eat them next week too. 

Overall i think it was a good diet i liked that it encourage you to snack and still loose weight as to live a healthier lifestyle. I did loose a couple pounds which i wasn't expecting in a week! Its made me closer to my goal weight which is always good. I'm not sure i'm gig to stick to it as it not the cheapest diet but i will definitely be buying their snacks as i really enjoy them, and i'm not gonna lie these chocolate meal replacement bars are very filing!

I'd love to know have you tried this challenge or any of the Slimfast products?

<3 

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Where have i been? I Perfect Fixations

Hello Darlings.

So its been a while eh, i'm so sorry for not blogging much lately, i thought as soon as i finished the Uni year, which was in May, that i'd have time but i've actually been more busy. This is just a small update post on whats been happening in my life over the past month or so.  

Summer course: Witchcraft

This summer i've decided to do summer course that knocks off one of my module for my third year of Uni so i have more time to focus on my dissertation. I'm basically doing a years worth of work in a summer so it's been pretty hectic but its great at the same time as i'm learning so much and its such a fascinating topic, i can't believe i've never looked at the history of witchcraft before! 

I've started a new relationship:

At the beginning of this summer i started dating this really great guy called Will, who i have naturally been spending a lot of time with, its all new and exciting and hopefully i will mention him more on my blog int he future <3  

Family troubles:

Another thing that has been taking up quite a lot of my time recently is my home life, i'm not going to go into too much detail but my parents are separating so lives been pretty busy in our household at the moment.  

Friend drama: 

I've also had quite a lot of drama among my friendship group this summer which is sad but hopefully it will be all resolved soon. 

Travel:

Similarly to last summer I've been travelling and going on day trips a lot this past month and i'm very excited to be going to Turkey in a couple of weeks which its totally new for me as last year was my first time going abroad and this summer will be the first time i visit a hot country, so exciting stuff!

Work:

To pay for this holiday and to fund my trips over the Summer i've been taking on more shifts than usually so thats also been taking up my time and making me more tired.

Motivation: 

Lastly, sadly i lost motivation with my blog, but i'm now feeling inspired, so hopefully i will be back to blogging soon :) 

So thats what been happening, life has been pretty busy but hopefully there will be a new post in the next few days

Thank you.

<3 

Being thankful

So much has happened and changed this year…

This time last year I was very unhappy, I was worried about going to university, being with strangers and not making any friends. And the friends I did have leaving me, worrying I’d lose contact, worried of being alone. But it hasn’t, I’m not alone and I’m happy...

I’ve finished my first year of university and passed it! (Wooo!) Never thought that would happen.

I’m on a fantastic course at University, finally doing and learning what I want and enjoy.

I plan to get my degree and become the historian I have always wanted to be.

I’ve said goodbye to old friends, but I’ve met new people and made new friends, great friends in fact! Friends i would never have made without taking this leap.

I took a big step and got my first job, (only part time) Its helping me with my confidence, people skills and independence.

Travel, I’m lucky enough going abroad in the summer for the first time, twice in fact. I’m going Holland and France!

I’m gaining more confidence, I’ve learnt to say no and speak my mind more often, expressing when I’m unhappy. Giving my opinion and being more open with people.

I’m more comfortable with my style and how I dress. I’m finally comfortable in my own skin, with my weight, the way I look and feel.  I’m not so afraid of how others see me or judge me. I just don’t care anymore, but in a good way, I’ve found things are more important to me now.

I’m not saying I’m 100% happy with how I look or that i'm perfect but I’m getting there.

This year has been a big change for me, and my future is only just beginning, I’m excited to see what happens. I’m finally a grown woman, an adult! As scary as it is I’m leading a life I want.

So I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has made this year wonderful.

I love you all.